What’s going on, Friend????
Of all the things I could begin at this point in my life, why start a blog?!?! Lord knows I need to focus on my busy life as an mother, wife and educator. I have been planning on joining a gym since having my baby, but that’s another story that we’ll get into some other time.
Back to BLOGGING…I honestly have been contemplating doing this probably for the past four to five years. I’ve always felt that I have a knack for giving great advice (just ask my BESTIES💗) and the desire to help others do better and be better, no matter the topic. From fashion and make-up tips to career-related guidance, or my personal favorite, relationship advice: friendship, family and romance. This always something I had a knack for and enjoyed it, too.
Mindset is Key
Even though, I had the desire to share with others in my circle. I initially didn’t have the courage to put myself out there and basically expose myself to the world!!! (an exaggeration, but ain’t that how it feels when you’re putting yourself out there, no matter how big or small?!?!)
By nature, I consider myself an introvert or an extroverted, introvert (Is that a thing? I’m not sure, but it describes me….and that sounds complicated, right?!?!). How and what we think of ourselves is what can propel us forward. Or in most cases, make us quit before we have even begun.
All too often we “talk” ourselves out of situations all the time. And that’s basically what I did to myself time and time again. I hid behind the busyness of my various roles as an educator, mother, wife, friend, mentor, coach, etc.
Habits of Mind
As an educator for the past 16 years, one of the key aspects of my career has been discovering, and then fostering positive ‘habits of mind’ in both children and adults. These 16 habits in total by Costa & Kallick, focus on producing the best learning environments in a nutshell.
Habits of Mind [HoM] are dispositions that are skillfully and mindfully employed by characteristically intelligent, successful people when they are confronted with problems, the solutions to which are not immediately apparent. When we draw upon these mental resources, the results are more powerful, of higher quality, and of greater significance than if we fail to employ those habits.
~TeachThought.com
I will focus on the five out of the 16 research-based ways that have had the greatest impact on my mindset. Something else I should highlight before diving deeper is the Habits of Mind are grounded in intent, more specifically YOUR intent.
5 Habits of Mind to Apply to Your Life
1. Persisting
In general, when you have a goal in mind and you start working towards it, this HoM is crucial to your success. When things get hard, you can continue to press forward OR simply give up. I know exactly how that feels because I started on this journey of being a blogger, gave it a good run, and then totally stopped. This was mostly due to the fact that at my core, I was nervous about what was to come, how it (I) would be perceived, and all of the other scary thoughts that would end in failure.
But then, something clicked in my head after a meditation one day. Would I rather never know what could come of my new business venture, or do I want to help and support women on a grander scale (as this is my core intention)? This is the exact question you must ask yourself when you’re at a crossroad: Will I feel more angst over continuing towards my goal OR never truly giving it a shot at all?
In the end, I decided I would invest as much time, efforts and money as I humanly could to assess the possibility. And at this point, I’m so happy that I CHOSE persistence over fear. I have a sense of accomplishment already and I’m just getting started!
Now don’t get me wrong, there are cases when quitting is the absolute best thing. In my case, I was allowing fear of the unknown to halt me. You have to reflect and figure out what’s coming up for you.
2. Thinking Flexibly
Flexible people have the most control. They have the capacity to change their minds as they receive additional data.
ASCD.ORG
Being flexible is something you probably always hear from your employer, but thinking flexibly is something that you can do on a consistent basis. This is your ability to adapt as you encounter new information. It can even propel you forward, particularly if you’re having a tough time settling on decisions. I, too, can be indecisive at times. So, a bit of thinking time and the ability to adjust will help you go far in all aspects of your life!
3. Striving for Accuracy
Striving for accuracy is crucial to one’s development. It almost takes a bit of persistence and perseverance to accomplish this. Most importantly, it is one’s innate drive for success. This is one of those characteristics that can set you apart from everyone else. On the other hand, striving for accuracy can also have you going in circles at times, if you’re anything like me.
There are times where perfectionism rears its ugly head and stops you from moving forward. So, there is a fine line when striving for accuracy. My advice is to always strive for accuracy, but don’t allow it to paralyze you from proceeding. Remember, slow movement is better than no movement!
4. Thinking & Communicating with Clarity and Precision
Intelligent people strive to communicate accurately in both written and oral form, taking care to use precise language, defining terms, correct names, and universal labels and analogies. They strive to avoid overgeneralizations, deletions, and distortions. Instead, they support their statements with explanations, comparisons, quantification, and evidence.
~ Costa & Kallick
Basically, the authors, Costa & Kallick, are stressing the importance of using specific language when formulating and expressing your ideas. This one right here applies to so many situations for me. And has even provided better communication between my husband and I.
Think about the last disagreement you had with someone. At some point, did one of you say, “you always…” OR “you never…” ‘Always’ and ‘never’ are examples of when we overgeneralize. It sounds good when you say it though, right?!?
- You never listen to me!
- You’re always late!
OR at times when you are practicing self-sabotage:
- Everyone thinks (or may think) that I’m not good enough. (or replace that with whatever negative thoughts you may have at any given moment
- They all think I’m ugly.
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this post and that is: You can’t live life in always, nevers, everybodys and they alls! Life is constantly moving, shifting and changing and you have to go along for the the ride. One thing I always recommend is spending time doing some self-reflection and journaling on a consistent basis. This will allow you to process your feelings, doubt and negative self-talk. And then replace those with some strategic planning, decisive action and daily affirmations.
Creating, Imagining and Innovating
Creative people take risks and frequently push the boundaries of their perceived limits. They are intrinsically rather than extrinsically motivated, working on the task because of the aesthetic challenge rather than the material rewards. Creative people are open to criticism. They hold up their products for others to judge and seek feedback in an ever-increasing effort to refine their technique.
~ Costa & Kallick
For all my creative people all there, this one’s for you! Your creativity comes from within and you are simply tapping into what the Creator has already blessed you with. I personally used to dread the question, “what’s your talent?” Everyone has a talent, right?!? For the longest, I couldn’t pinpoint what mine was. I always felt that I was good at things, but shouldn’t your talent be something that you should know right away?!?
Whether you can or can’t, you’re probably right!
Henry Ford
I realized a couple things that I was good at. And now I can package it as a talent, something that I can be successful at AND I can do it ALL DAY!!! And for me, that’s being an educator. I just love learning and then sharing my expertise with others. Whether these are life lessons or in an office/classroom. It all is at the core of what I enjoy doing day in and day out! And this is how I know, and you can too, what you’re meant to be doing.
Stop Getting in Your Way & Start Making a Way
I challenge you to step out of my comfort zone as a mirror for your life. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What’s something you’ve always wanted to do/accomplish?
- What are the factors standing in your way from starting/accomplishing this?
- Do you need support with this? If so, what kind? How will you get it?
Sometimes, just the thought of starting something new alone is enough to overwhelm you. But, I’m going to encourage you to think about these questions and the answers to them. My hope is that you’ll find that the initial planning is not as daunting as you probably thought it would be. And even if it is, YOU’RE STILL ALIVE GIRL!!! Thinking about your goals, as scary as it might be, won’t lessen the chance of them coming to fruition. in actuality, this is putting you one step closer to accomplishing them.
Now, your something new could be journaling, meditating, the practice of self-reflection OR finding a new career, man, you name it. You’ll have to do some thinking about what that is for you, utilizing the foundation of the Habits of Mind as well.
See…that wasn’t so bad, right???
My wish for you is that you will find inspiration in this space to be a better human being to others, but most importantly to yourself (and know that is OK). As time progressed, for me, the thought of being a blogger and promoting a safe space to express and exchange ideas, in the hopes of living a more fulfilled life became a huge desire of mine.
So, HERE I AM (one of my favorite Monica songs-I’m an R & B fanatic/enthusiast). Humbly presenting my story and ideas to push you with yours. We will grow to be a circle of women that supports and encourages one another.
I know I went on WAY too long with this post, but charge it to the fact that I’m excited to be on this journey of discovery with you. I truly want to see you succeed and be the best YOU you can be!!!
If this sounds like something you’re interested in being a part of, subscribe to bask in this growing circle of LOVERs-Ladies Organically Vibing and Encouraging Relationships.
Below you can check out that Monica song I mentioned earlier.
Also, leave me a comment about what you think of the song, or how your self-reflection and daily affirmations are going thus far!
