Hey LOVERs,
What is a Healthy Relationship?
Healthy relationships are the foundation for a happy life! If you allow toxic people and relationships in your life, it will be filled with drama, uncertainty, unhappiness and perhaps, a more dangerous/at-risk lifestyle. You have to want better for yourself, Sis.
“A healthy relationship allows both partners to feel supported and connected, but still feel independent. Communication and boundaries are the two major components of a healthy relationship,” as defined by the National Domestic Violence Hotline website.
What are the 4 Ways to Know You’re in a Healthy Relationship?
- Communication
- Quality Time
- Sex/Affection
- Meeting Expectations
Let’s dive a little deeper…
#1 Communication
Good communication takes time to foster and hone into a style that works for you and your significant other. I believe it to be the initial cornerstones of a healthy relationship. This is not to say that you will agree on everything or that you will never get into an argument (virtually impossible…I know). But, at the core of your relationship, i.e. what happens MOST of the time, consists of words that are considerate of your feelings, helpful, not hurtful; and getting your message across without belittling each other is what should be your goal.
Using hurtful language is a two-way street. We, as a woman, can’t expect for a man to deal with you with white gloves when you brought out your boxing gloves, OK!!! You have to be the change you want to see. This is how it works, my dear! I am also a firm believer in the law of attraction…what you put out there, will come straight back to you! So, try to make it positive love.
#2 Quality Time
Quality time is another foundational element to every healthy relationship. The time you spend with one another should be something meaningful and that you look forward to…one would even consider it EXCITING! As it turns out, I still get excited when hubby and I have our date nights (even though all we want to do is go to sleep…did I mention I have a 5 month old at home 😵?!?!?)
My wish for you is that you have found someone that you LOVE to be around and spend time with. This is crucial in maintaining a healthy, thriving relationship. So, whether that’s vacationing, going out to eat, or to see a movie, maybe a walk through the park, or whatever floats your boat…do it together!
Consider this a way to always connect and re-connect with each other. It’s SUPER important, otherwise you both may find your needs being met elsewhere and who wants to deal with that drama?!?! Lord, knows I don’t have time for it…So, GET YO’ LIFE, GIRL and do what’s best for YOU and YOUR FAMILY all at the same damn time!
#3 Sex & Affection
Ok, let’s be grown for a quick second and talk about the importance of sex and affection in a relationship. This next cornerstone to your relationship will be a key aspect of the foundation you need to build and grow as a unit. For some people, sex may be the most important factor in their relationship. (it’s important, but not the most important thing for me…it could be because
I believe that my husband is the sexiest man alive 😉 SERIOUSLY!) It can be the icing on the cake…or simply the whole dang cake, depending on how you look at it or the relationship you’re currently in.
It’s important how you like to be loved is also taken into account, especially if your primary love language is physical touch. See my love language article for more details about this. Sex and affection are significant components to a successful relationship so don’t forget to carve out time for this as well.
We all lead very busy lives as wives, mothers, entrepreneurs, and all the other titles that go with hard working women, but you must invest in what you want to progress!!! (That’s a word right there, read it again if it didn’t hit you the first time! 😁)
#4 Meeting Expectations
In terms of the four ways to know you’re in a healthy relationship, this one is the heart of all relationships: meeting expectations. Expectations have so many different categories and pathways, the only way you can meet them is to know what they are. You can’t dream up the perfect person and s/he magically appears, girlie! That’s just not the way the world works. Sometimes you just got to spell things out crystal clear so that there are no misunderstandings, misconceptions, or misrepresentations of what you meant, need, heard, said or want! Some of the expectations we all come to our relationships with are:
- Loyalty & Faithfulness
- Finances
- Sex/Affection
- Marriage/Relationship Status
- Gifts
- Quality Time
- Social Media
- Friends (Same & Opposite Sex)
- Children/Family
- Exes/Baby Mommas
- Job/Career Advancement
- Personal Hobbies/Lifestyle
- Mindset/Growth/Personal Drive
There are other items that I may not have mentioned, but this goes to show you that there are so many things we expect, some things said and some unsaid, but unless we take a closer look at ourselves and what we want, we won’t be able to communicate our desires to someone else.
Self Reflection Can Help Your Relationship
Baby girl, remember there are four key ways to know if you’re in a healthy relationship or NAH…and you don’t need me to continue to delve any deeper into the points mentioned here because there’s an extra layer of support you have built into yourself. That layer I’m referring to is called your intuition.
Our intuition, or as I like to call it, our inner bestie… You can truly be in tune with your innermost thoughts when you carve out time for self-reflection. Read more about how to make time for self reflection and why it’s so important in this post. YOU know what feels good and right to your spirit. When in doubt, go with that inner voice. It will almost never steer you wrong!
Re-cap
Just to re-cap, the four ways to know you’re in a healthy relationship are: communication, quality time, sex/affection and meeting expectations. Or, as I like to think about them, the cornerstones of the foundation to any great relationship. Use these to reflect on your current relationship and decide which one you can work on being better at, as an individual and then as a couple.
Let me know how it goes for you in the comments section. I look forward to continuing to support you with life’s journey!
Continue to live a beautiful life by fostering beautiful, healthy relationships…
Dance to this song as you plan your next date night with hubby!!! (The explicit version is what I listen to in the car…BY MYSELF!!!
